They ate supper before they said grace. We are using only quality shirts such as Fruit of the Loom and Gildan. I’m so poor I can’t pay attention. Found insideHow the Science and Industry of Happiness Control our Lives Edgar Cabanas, Eva Illouz ... but it made it into the publication of his own book collection of inspirational, funny quotes under the title This Book Loves You, ... Happier than a june bug on a tomato plant. Seldom happier than when I'm on my own, lost in a book. He couldn’t hit water if he was standin’ on a boat. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Happy Life Quotes: For A Well Rounded Happy Life! it's funny how forever never seems to last, That, too, is a metaphor—it just happens to have become so widespread and dominant that people tend to treat it as literal truth rather than metaphorical description. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. “Funny as a three-legged dog in a horse race." More Quotes. You Make Me Happier Than Funny Quotes. ~ Mark Twain. He’s all hat and no cattle. 500 matching entries found. He looks like three pounds of ugly in a two-pound sack. Flashy as a rat with a gold tooth. “The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita is the day I’ll get married.” ... 30 Funny Quotes For Best Friends To Use As Instagram Captions. That boy ain’t smart enough to pound sand in a rat hole. But now I … funniest tshirts is your new tee will be a great gift for him or her. Nervous as a bear caught with his head in the hive. Feb 14 2020 this is just stuff that i can see my self saying or would say if i were clever enough tho think of it myself lol. by Rubystor $20 . I myself never feel that I'm sexy. Report Save. Found inside – Page 78She trotted there are lots of things I wish you to tell me . out all her clever sayings and funniest cari- Say you ... and thanked him for his that if we were only some one else we should kind offer . be so much happier than we are . Boy, I’ll smack you so hard your kids’ll come out behavin’. Tighter than a bull’s ass during fly season. it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, I’m happy as a jackass in a briar patch. Go to table of contents ... “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” – George Bernard Shaw “If merely ‘feeling good’ could decide, drunkenness would be … You catch more flies with jam than you do with vinegar. I found a reliable theme, an approach to living that gave me more satisfaction, at the time, and still: If you know how, and when, to deal with life’s challenges—how to get relative with the inevitable—you can enjoy a state of success ... USD $14.27. He’s just like a catfish: all mouth and no ass. Nuttier than a squirrel turd. You’ll waste your time and just annoy the pig. I find myself a much happier person when I turn off my computer and live my life. Only thing alive at that house with all its teeth is the termites. — Janet Evanovich. It's a great time to start fresh with a smile and laugh as you say goodbye to the old year. I'm happier than I've every been. Come check out our giant selection of T-Shirts, Mugs, Tote Bags, Stickers and More. It's rainin' like a cow pissin on a flat rock. Top 55 I Am Happier Than Quotes Sayings . This hilarious Coloring Book For Moms will provide mothers and moms-to-be a salutary stress-relieving solution. ♥ Give mom five minutes of peaceand laughter. ♥ Grab some colored pencils and markers, this coloring book and enjoy the most ... If it ain’t broken, fix it til it is. Meanness don’t just happen overnight. Maybe you put a couple of things together. Was $16.99 $16.99 (2.3) 2.3 stars out of 4 reviews 4 reviews. It messes up their heads. The Perfect Funny Valentine's Day Gift for Him - Better Than a Simple Card - Make Him Laugh - Make Him Happy! As nervous as a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs: Worried, twitchy. Which often looks like crazy.” David Henry Hwang, “When I was small, I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Women are like tiles: you lay ’em right the first time, they let you walk all over ’em for life. Prettier than a wall full of boogers in the men’s bathroom. Aug 5, 2019 - Explore Melissa Thompson's board "Happier Than a Bird With a French Fry...", followed by 114 people on Pinterest. He’s shiverin’ like a dog tyrin’ to shit a peach seed. We become happier, much happier, when we realize life is an opportunity rather than an obligation. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing. Amazon.com: Aianhe Happier Than a Seagull with a Stolen Chip Funny Nautical Seaside Theme Wood Hanging Plaque Signs for Home Decor 10" X 5": Home & Kitchen "A big wife and a big barn, will never do a man any harm." If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it. See more ideas about emt humor, ems humor, paramedic humor. She’s purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.” Stephen Chbosky, “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Will Rogers, “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” Will Ferrell, “I’m happy. Enjoy. but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. The cheese done slid off’n that boy’s cracker! If people call me cute, I am happier. Son, you’re so low that when you die you’re gonna have to rise up to find hell. That makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine. You got a can o’ whup ass? He went through that like Sherman went through Georgia. It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. -Unknown "Dating is a lot like finding a parking space—the good ones are taken." This collection of funny quotes is all about happiness. Sherrilyn Kenyon. In life, once in a while. What a southerner says: “I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park!” What they really mean: “I’m so happy!” What a southerner says: “Well, bless your heart …” What they really mean: “You’re really not very bright …” What a southerner says: “That baby is cute as a sack full of puppies.” She’s so ugly she could scare a rat off a chessecake. Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it. 1. Also, “About as much use as…” with … Quick as a politician’s promise. The older I get, the happier my childhood becomes. Two conspirators with a frog, following the line of a whiffletree. Similar Quotes. Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. She’s so fat, if somebody told her to “haul ass,” she’d have to make two trips. Happier Than A Seagull With A French Fry Art Print Best Quotes Think Bestquotes . It must be jelly ’cause jam don’t shake like that. I could care less. It’s so hot you could sweat 150 pounds of fat off a 125-pound hog. Happier than a june bug on a tomato plant. A joke I heard from a chechen. With more than 700 pithy proverbs, this work lays out the ruiles you should live by and offers advice on such subjects as money, friendship, marriage, ethics, and human nature. Then be sure to check out: Categories Funny Quotes, Happy Quotes, Quotes, 40 Tricky Quotes That Are Thought-Provoking & Fun. You seems to be like a fine wine, you keep getting better with age. A real hillbilly wouldn’t know the difference anyway, nor would he care. It’s hotter than forty acres of burnin’ stumps. The adventures of Pooh and Piglet, Owl, Tigger, and the ever doleful Eeyore are timeless treasures of childhood. These tales still speak to all of us with the freshness that distinguishes true storytelling. And she told me nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring. Funny Quotes about Life. “Went to shit and the hogs ate ‘em.” 33. Shop it at Redbubble. Main Tag Offensive T-Shirt. World Happiness Report What Makes Some Countries Happier Than Others Csmonitor Com . 7y "Angrier than a mosquito in a mannequin factory" 513. Don’t skinny dip with snapping turtles. It’s the landing that will get you. I'm funny on camera sometimes. A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor. For America, there are many proverbs and folk sayings that have circulated for generations. Gilda was funny. You plant a tater, you get a tater. “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one” George Bernard Shaw quotes (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 25843. About as hard as tryin’ to herd chickens. The perfect gift for someone who needs a little more love in their life. Whether its a spouse, a lover, a preacher or a friend, you'll find some amazing words of wisdom on love and more! it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. These "busier than a" sayings can be overused, or maybe you have never heard of them before. Many profound, some comical and some both make this a great read." "Brilliant read, this book has a quote for every thought, occasion and feeling." "Big book of quotes certainly lives up to its name with well over 3,000 quotes. That’s about as much fun as a bad case of scours. Top 55 I Am Happier Than Quotes Sayings . May 31, 2016. 14 Funny Eeyore Quotes (a Little Reverse Psychology!). 8 Charming Southern Sayings You Should Start Using Regularly. She’s so ugly she could stop a bucket of snot in mid-air. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. You’re both gonna get muddy, and chances are, the pig likes it. She’s a taco shy of a combination plate. You’d mess up a wet dream. How’s business - good enough for cork wine? You found it offensive? The people around me would be happier because my mood would be better. 3. You found it offensive? David Lynch is my friend, and I love his movies and his art and his music. Coco Lee. Charlotte Hilton Andersen Updated: Oct. 08, 2021. I’ll knock a knot on your head so tall you’ll have to climb a ladder to comb your hair. Happier Quotes - Page 4 - BrainyQuote. It’s colder than a witch’s titty on a winter day on the shady side of the mountain. Don't squat next to the fire with your spurs on. Childish Gambino. Tighter than a skeeter’s ass in a nosedive. You’re as smart as you are good lookin’, and that ain’t sayin’ much. Tighter than Dick’s hatband. You’re slower than molasses on a cold day. Funny Happier Than Quotes : Im Happier Than Quotes Funny. It would be so much easier and I would be so much happier. If you’re gonna be stupid you better be tough. When it comes to romantic times of the year, Valentine's Day is number one on many people's list. var sidebar_align = ''; A pig in shit. Dubmer than a bag of hammers. “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one” George Bernard Shaw quotes (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. It’s not what it’s worth, it’s what it’ll bring. Let’s be off like a herd of turtles. It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg. That boy ain’t got the sense to wipe hisself when he’s done. If you can’t hang with the big dogs, stay your puppy ass on the porch. Happier than a possum in the corncrib with the dog tied up. He’s so dubm he couldn’t get into college with a crowbar. She looks like she got hit in the face with a sackful of bent nickels. - "I was happier than a Retard at a Chuck E Cheese." 29 Funny Mom Quotes That Will Have You Cry-Laughing. Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway. — John Stamos. 3. In spite of being happier than I ever dreamed I could be, I'm also soberer. That’s why I’m happier than you. We’ve howdied but we ain’t shook yet. Go for the ugly early and you’ll never go home alone. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. It just ain’t helpful. 30. A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. I'm not so funny. Funny, Inspiring, Success. Nuttier than a port-o-potty at a peanut festival. He’s ridin’ a gravy train on biscuit wheels. Write your happy birthday coworker message inside this journal and give that work colleague birthday wishes they won't forget! Happiness quotes. Busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin’ contest: Overworked, worn out. Funny Fishing Quotes. That’ll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter. - "I was happier than Michael Jackson disguised as a floor lamp at a Harry Potter book-signing." The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. That boy is nine dimes short of a dollar. It’s kind a like puttin’ gas in a car that you’ve already wrecked. 55 Inspiring Quotes About Happiness And Love To Share With Your Partner Yourtango . Economics is everywhere, and understanding economics can help you make better decisions and lead a happier life. Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. Exercise, prayer, and meditation are examples of calming rituals. I’m just hangin’ out like a hair in a biscuit. Words that soak into your ears are whispered - not yelled. Women make me happy. Finer than a frog’s hair. She looks like her face caught fire and somebody put it out with an ice pick. I can tell you a thing or two ’bout a thing or two. He couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bucket of rice. So much so, that happiness can sometimes become this abstract notion, a destination rather than a journey. Why? Looking for the ideal Happier Than Sayings Funny Gifts? I’m so hungry I could eat the north end of a cow going’ south. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Strong as train smoke. But she was funny. Seeing your face makes my heart beat faster, in a good way, and I feel this calmness come over me. 24 Funny Positive Thinking Quotes To Make You Laugh! Fun time with Holiday Greeting Cards, Creative, Funny and sometimes Strange We asked 100 men what personality trait they liked most about the women they love You'll be surprised to see who has their very own private jet, flying with the public is such a drag QuotesGram / Perhaps it is their sparkling wit,.. Rd.com arts & entertainment quotes funny observations about food and eating from julia child, yogi berra, miss piggy and more! The Art of Happiness is a highly accessible guide for a western audience, combining the Dalai Lama's eastern spiritual tradition with Dr Howard C. Cutler's western perspective. Smaller than a skeeter peter. She’s uglier than a mud fence. I’m so hungry my backbone is snappin’ at my belt buckle. A pig in shit. I don't care if cabbage don't never head! ~ Jean Renoir. It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. That food tastes so good it makes you wanna slap your grandma. She’s as pretty as a new set of snow tires. Texas, where Coke really does mean Dr. Pepper. He was so confused he didn’t know his ass from his elbow. He’s so dubm he couldn’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight. She’s so ugly she looks like she plays goalie for a dart team. “Metaphors are tricky things. That kid is nuttier than a pecan pie. Her teeth are like stars - they come out at night. Because we all want to be happy – it’s something that most people strive for. That’s how the cow ate the cabbage. Jan 26, 2017 - Explore Sarah Haislip's board "I'm happier than a...", followed by 127 people on Pinterest. Sadder than a fat girl with no boobs. Put a little laughter and joy into your life by taking one of these quotes on happiness with you throughout your day. Well, throw me between an axle housing and frame and call me shocked! He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. Mark Twain Money Quote saying the belief by the rich that the poor are happier than they are is also held by the poor about the rich. Meaner than an old wet hen. Just because a chicken has wings doesn’t mean it can fly. 4 it's never too late. A cliché is just one way to make an impact with an expression. Women have to be more beautiful than smart, ’cause men see better than they think. Sometimes I think that girl is as dubm as a cat tryin’ to look pretty in the middle of a dog festival. That’s like findin’ a diamond in a billy goat’s ass. The only thing we got to fear is a public toilet seat. You can browse our other products funny text shirts. Loopy as a cross-eyed cowpoke’s lariat. You lie like a cheap rug. Is that your head or did your neck throw up? One liner tags: happiness, love, men, women. Every path has a few puddles. Most of us have gears we never use. Tyler Cowen. About as sexy as socks on a billy goat. The funniest sub on reddit. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. And I'm like, "Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!" See more ideas about inspirational quotes, words of wisdom, words. Never get into a wrestlin’ match with a pig. 10 I Ll Be Happier Than Ideas Emt Humor Ems Humor Paramedic Humor. Like findin’ a feather on a frog. Here, we’ve rounded up 85 funny Wednesday quotes, sayings, texts, (with images and pictures) to help you get through Hump Day. It’s hotter than the Devil’s underarm. Jane Eyre, novel by Charlotte Brontë, first published in 1847. Making the right choice (which we make every day) is not easy to make, but it is quite possible if Jesus Christ lives in a person's heart! Spread love everywhere you go. Share. Even a dog knows the difference between being stumbled over and kicked. Happier than a gopher in soft dirt. “Give him two nickels for a dime and he’ll think he’s rich." I couldn’t get nailed in a wood workshop. You’re as useful as a ball in a square dance. Mike Portnoy. She could charm the dew right off a honeysuckle. "A little too late is much too late." Hiss ass must be hungry - it’s tryin’ to eat his pants. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, He’s so cross-eyed he can stand on the front porch and count chickens in the backyard. This knife is so dull it wouldn’t cut hot butter. Found inside – Page 140I'm sure you have a list of these funny sayings too if your children are young. Write them down while you remember. Keep a journal of funny moments with your kids. Better Than Medicine It says in Proverbs 17:22 that “a cheerful heart is ... The first time i see a jogger smiling i ll consider it. As they are flying over Germany Merkel says i will toss out money from the window and make some germans happy. Slicker thean goose shit. The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving. The magic of Southern speech is in the similes and … He’s so bucktoothed he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence. You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn’t make them biscuits. I'm so much happier without you in my life yet I allow you to stay. Discover and share I Am Happier Than Quotes. It’s colder than a well digger’s ass in Idaho. Los Angeles Times bestseller • More than 1.5 million copies sold “If hygge is the art of doing nothing, ikigai is the art of doing something—and doing it with supreme focus and joy.” —New York Post Bring meaning and joy to all ... The books in this series are filled with colour illustrations and fall intowo categories: there are parables, charming stories for grown-ups; and lawsf nature, which are collections of musings and anecdotes about the wayhings are - or at ... So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Maybe you put a couple of things together. When you find yourself in a hole - quit diggin’. Merkel, Putin and Kadyrov (the chechen president) are on plane. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. He’s so dubm they had to burn down the school just to get him out of third grade. Plumb eat up with the dubm-ass. Thinner than a gnat’s scrotum stretched over a fifty-five-gallon drum. If at first you don’t succeed, use duct tape. Well, butter my … I ain’t no Barbie, but I ain’t big enough to eat hay. Cross Stitching Cross Stitch Embroidery Embroidery Patterns Hand Embroidery Cross Stitch Patterns Fiber Art … Trouble with a milk cow is she won’t stay milked. Alice in Wonderland (also known as Alice's Adventures in Wonderland), from 1865, is the peculiar and imaginative tale of a girl who falls down a rabbit-hole into a bizarre world of eccentric and unusual creatures. I found it funny. Funny Beer Quotes. When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. As happy as a tick on a fat dog: Satisfied, comfy. Quieter than a mouse peeing on cotton. 17 sayings for 80th birthday and turning 80: The advantage of being eighty years old is that one has many people to love. Pin On Redneck Signs. Which it isn’t. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. 9/16/2008. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. 91 Copy quote. This classic, written by an original proponent of the power of positive thinking, shows readers how to develop their talents and improve their daily lives by assuming a cheerful and supportive attitude. Now that I’m grown up, I know I was right.” Unknown, “A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away.” Bil Keane, “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” Rita Mae Brown, “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde, “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.” David Lee Roth, “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” Gertrude Stein, “Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, Lower than an ankle bracelet on a flat-footed pigmy. Report as inappropriate. I was as mad as a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy pond. It's a very interesting and developing hobby. Because, the more you read the right text the better you think and improve your mind. This book is meant to become your trainer, teacher and a friend. Hard as a bull's head Hard as a millstone Hard as a rock Hard as a steel plate Hard as nails He ain’t exactly settin’ the woods on fire. She was so ugly she looked like her face caught fire and someone beat it out with a track shoe. Found insideA Stupendous Collection of Quotes, Quips, Epigrams, Witticisms, and Humorous Comments : for Personal Enjoyment and Ready ... Alfred Adler S SENSUALITY If sensuality were happiness , beasts were happier than men ; but human felicity is ... Don't drink downstream from the herd. Puttin’ her brain in a matchbox would be like a BB rollin’ around in a boxcar. Redneck humor... crude, rude, and lewd. A leopard can’t change his spots any more than a Z-car its racing stripes. 139 Copy quote. You can’t polish a turd. It’s hard to fly with the eagles when you run around with the turkeys. He’s so lazy he calls the dog in to see if it’s rainin’. There’s more ways to choke a dog than feeding him peanut butter.

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